Oh great. They asked that dreaded question.
As soon as I finished high school, this question came flooding in. Most people my age get a job or are
continuing on in their education, so people were understandably curious as to what this living-at-home adult girl did all day. And that question always stumped me. My answer sounded something like this: “I, uh, keep busy. I help take care of the house...and I read a lot.” Then I’d internally cover my face and my brain would scream “now they think you wash dishes and read novels all day!”
I still get this question. And I still feel stumped. I keep busy during the day, but when someone asks me what I do, my brain goes completely blank. Over the years, I’ve tried to combat this problem with thinking up my answer in advance. No, not making up an answer, but thinking through what I do each day and putting that into a short reply. Because “I take care of the house” doesn’t cut it.
Because other people seem to have such an easy answer (“I’m studying to be a registered nurse” or “I work at the library”), I sometimes am tempted to think my life is somewhat inferior to theirs. I need to remind myself that it is okay to be different from other people my age and to joyfully tell others about my choice to be a stay-at-home wife and soon-to-be mom. I don’t want to give the impression that I’m embarrassed about my life and I don’t want to give an answer that downplays what I actually do. It does take a little bit of thinking to come up with an answer that satisfies these critiques and the questioner.
Instead of telling people “I do a lot of reading during the day”, which will make them think I spend hours pouring over J.K. Rowling’s novels, I can say I’m learning about natural pregnancy, childbirth and how to best prepare for that, and infant development. Instead of saying “I take care of the house” (because that’s what every other working or schooling adult woman is doing, too), I can share how we’ve just moved to a new place and I’m still unpacking, organizing, and settling in, and working on a few extra projects around the house.
If you spend your days Netflix binging and playing computer games, something needs to change. I know staying at home can make me gravitate towards laziness - it’s something I have to fight a lot! There are always better things we can do to redeem our time. I’m not downplaying that struggle at all, I’m just saying have an answer ready. Because people will ask.
I encourage you all to have an answer prepared, but more importantly to not be ashamed of being a stay-at-home daughter, wife, or mom. People may not always understand or agree with your choices, but if you hold your head high and give a joyful answer, they will respect your decision and admire you for going against the grain.
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