I’m a sucker for organization, decluttering, and minimalism. I will spend hours watching and reading about it, then dive into a closet or drawer, hoping to downsize. My wonderful husband, however, isn’t as enthusiastic as I am.
We are two different people with different personalities, but we make up a great dynamic! Neither of our preferences
or personalities should be squelched, but neither should they conflict. Instead of getting frustrated over
how we are different, I need to see how we complement each other so perfectly.
or personalities should be squelched, but neither should they conflict. Instead of getting frustrated over
how we are different, I need to see how we complement each other so perfectly.
I don’t ever want to become a pushy wife, insisting he get rid of some of his stuff, or whine about the things
he never uses. Kris is the most important person in my life and I love him to death. Having a few extra things
around the house doesn’t and will never change that fact. I want to honor and show respect to Kris far more
than I want a clean and clutter-free house.
he never uses. Kris is the most important person in my life and I love him to death. Having a few extra things
around the house doesn’t and will never change that fact. I want to honor and show respect to Kris far more
than I want a clean and clutter-free house.
These are some ways that we’ve worked through our differences that makes us both feel honored and loved.
1) As my husband and head, Kris has absolute authority over the stuff in our house. If there’s something
he doesn’t want, out it goes. And if there are things he’d like to hang on to, we keep them. Before getting
rid of anything, I run it by Kris to see if he’s okay with me passing those things along. I don’t ever sneak things
out of the house so he won’t know.
2) I try to never nag, complain, or put Kris down about his things (even if I don’t see their value). I can always
ask if he will go through his things with me, but like the first point, getting rid of any of the stuff is his choice.
And if he doesn’t want to declutter, then we won’t. I’ve asked him to tell me if I’m being too pushy.
3) Then there’s an area that is mostly Kris’s stuff (like the computer room) that we need to work on together,
we just do a little at a time. While organizing and decluttering might be rejuvenating to me, it’s draining to
Kris. So we tackle just one drawer, or work on a pile/box/room for just a few minutes at a time.
4) I will go through/organize stuff on my own. The items that I need Kris’s help with, I’ll set aside and just
go through those with him when he’s home. This way, I’m not overwhelming him with a roomful. One box
is more manageable.
5) I keep my personal stuff decluttered: the things that K doesn’t care about, like my closet, craft supplies,
kitchen stuff, etc. I don’t like having extra stuff that I don’t use lying around (or taking up space in my closet
and drawers). This is something I really enjoy and so will regularly organize and go through my things.
1) As my husband and head, Kris has absolute authority over the stuff in our house. If there’s something
he doesn’t want, out it goes. And if there are things he’d like to hang on to, we keep them. Before getting
rid of anything, I run it by Kris to see if he’s okay with me passing those things along. I don’t ever sneak things
out of the house so he won’t know.
2) I try to never nag, complain, or put Kris down about his things (even if I don’t see their value). I can always
ask if he will go through his things with me, but like the first point, getting rid of any of the stuff is his choice.
And if he doesn’t want to declutter, then we won’t. I’ve asked him to tell me if I’m being too pushy.
3) Then there’s an area that is mostly Kris’s stuff (like the computer room) that we need to work on together,
we just do a little at a time. While organizing and decluttering might be rejuvenating to me, it’s draining to
Kris. So we tackle just one drawer, or work on a pile/box/room for just a few minutes at a time.
4) I will go through/organize stuff on my own. The items that I need Kris’s help with, I’ll set aside and just
go through those with him when he’s home. This way, I’m not overwhelming him with a roomful. One box
is more manageable.
5) I keep my personal stuff decluttered: the things that K doesn’t care about, like my closet, craft supplies,
kitchen stuff, etc. I don’t like having extra stuff that I don’t use lying around (or taking up space in my closet
and drawers). This is something I really enjoy and so will regularly organize and go through my things.
This could easily become an area of frustration to both of us. But if we choose to honor and love each other
instead of letting little things become a source of irritation, our relationship will grow so much better and
stronger!
instead of letting little things become a source of irritation, our relationship will grow so much better and
stronger!
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